flames
by flamed love
Summary: Ian is the main suspect for the Vesper Mole, even Amy believes herself. How can he look at the girl he loves, and tell himself it's time to walk away? WARNING: Rapid Fire Crushed and Shatterproof Spoilers


"…Sorry, her _heart_ belongs to _Ian Kabra_"

Ian stared at the fireplace, feeling the radiant heat compliment his complexion. As if the flames were consuming him, engulfing him in long lost memories, many in which he wanted to forget.

Long lost memories in which filled him with guilt, filled him with pain. And some even filled him with sympathy, more than the slightest. He carefully shook the substance in his cup, watching the liquid create waves and travel throughout the crystal container.

He was very fond of tea, usually calling it his needed supplement, or his quench for power. But right now, the presence of his needed supplement couldn't even cure the holes in his heart.

He wished the liquid were like cement, filling the holes in his heart. While sealing it, to last forever and be the strongest it could be. But nothing could get rid of the constant pain, the constant distrust.

Everyone despised him, expecting whatever he touched to turn to coal. People hated him, only expecting him to achieve evil, nothing good at all. And no one trusted him; they all accused him of being the Vesper mole.

He was like the poster child for evil; everyone always accused him for every mishap that occurred, because of who he was and what he did. Being a Lucian was not the easiest thing in the world, having everyone distrust you and plan a scheme to destroy you.

Natalie was all he had; she as well went through the stages of distrust and hatred. She was the only one who trusted him, and believed he could achieve whatever he wanted to.

His parents disowned him, leaving himself and Natalie penniless. The other Cahills despised them, for everything Isabel forced them to perform during the clue hunt. He was responsible for Natalie, to make sure she was safe and to make sure she made the right choices.

He was her older brother, her elder, and her protector. And he failed, miserably, as his only hope for happiness was now a hostage for the Vespers. He would do anything in the world to get her back, he would even consider trading places.

Ian continued to stare at the flames, whishing one day, he wouldn't open his eyes. His mind drifted to the conversation that completely crushed his heart, _"I hate you, Ian Kabra!"_ Amy had shouted at him, before abruptly ending the call.

That's what he regretted the most, making her hate him with all her heart. He wanted to prove to her, that he was good, that he could change. But with every chance he was given, he failed miserably, causing her to drift farther apart.

Ian snapped out of thought, as he heard his name being called a few feet behind him, he abruptly turned around and was greeted with a glare created by two jade eyes.

"How could you? How could you betray your sister, who is dying and suffering every day?" Amy shouted, anger seething through her pores.

Ian starred at her, letting many emotions control his expression, and making himself speechless. "I didn't betray her, I didn't betray anyone. I want to find her as much as you do…" he stated, causing her to present her 'Madrigal glare'.

"…There are 5 other suspects, five other people who could get away without being caught. Who can accomplish their goal of destroying the Cahills, and I'm not one of them."

"Just…stop. Stop trying to cover up your identity, stop trying to be the good guy in every situation." Amy snapped. "I know you're the mole, what explains your 'emergency' visits to Argentina, what explains your visit to your mother?" she pressed on, becoming furious by the second.

"I'm not the mole, Amy. I would never betray Natalie, the one person who actually knows who I am. The one person I have left." he stated, truth leaking through his statement. "I had to visit Argentina and Isabel, I had to go by myself, because it was _my_ problem. Not anyone else's."

Amy sighed with frustration, while furiously shaking her head. "I trusted you, when no one else did. I believed in you, that you wouldn't betray us. Look where that got me to." she snarled. "You ruined my life, you crushed my 14 year old heart. Over and over again."

"I know I hurt you, and I know I don't deserve your trust, but I need it. I need it because it's the only thing that gives me hope in finding Natalie and the hostages.," he gently reasoned, causing her gaze to soften.

"I regret many things, that I've done in the past. Some of my choices weren't in my hands, and they affected who I was today." Amy turned away, her breath coming in ragged forms. "…Tell me, why did you go to Argentina, why did you visit your mother. Tell me the truth," she said.

"…I visited my mother…to confront her. I had suspicion with her recent AidWorkers group, I wanted to find out what she knew about the Vespers." Ian reasoned, as Amy listened intently.

"I knew she was hiding something, as she was nervous about the mentioning of the Vespers. Back in the DeOssie factory, I found a scrap of paper embodied with the Lucian crest. It turns out Isabel had sent a letter, to the factory." he continued.

"So, I went to Argentina to track down her AidWorkers headquarters, finding it burnt down to pieces, completely destroyed. It is there that I found out the AidWorkers were actors, they pretended to work for the 'organization'."

"…Why didn't you tell us about the paper? Or about your 'emergency' disappearings that were suspicious?" Amy questioned, hoping to find trust in him once again.

"I wanted to handle it on my own, since it was _my_ branch in the situation. I'm the only one who understands the Lucians, better than anyone else." Ian replied. Amy nodded, understanding his reasoning of his own personal branch situations and conflicts. She wouldn't want Tomas agents handling a Madrigal conflict.

Ian stared at her, trying to find sincerity and forgiveness for once. He hesitated for a few seconds, trying to decide whether to tell the truth about what happened six months ago, after the clue hunt.

"…Do you remember, six months after the clue hunt, when I canceled my flight to Boston?" Ian asked, causing a look of sadness and disappointment to overtake her features. "I do, remember," she croaked, while staring at the ground.

"The reason why…I didn't go was because of Isabel. I-It was too much guilt, to much pressure to withstand." he said, sadness tracing his voice. "That very day, Isabel broke into the Lucian wing, searching for files and a unknown object. I chased her through the wing, dodging the chandeliers she triggered to fall."

"I chased her all the way to the old wooden gate, where she stood a couple of meters away from freedom. I was so close to stopping her; all I had to do was say _no_. But, all these strange emotions rushed through me, causing me to realize that I still loved her and cared for her."

"And…I let her go, because I still wanted to believe that she cared for me and Natalie, that everything was a dream. I regretted it so much, that the guilt was too strong to be able to cross the sea. I had to cancel, I tried my best to hide my emotions…because my own heart was crushed."

Amy silently stared at him, not knowing what to say. Or how to say it, she despised Isabel, for completely ruining her life. So many emotions that were kept locked, for two years, suddenly filled her and consumed her.

"I just want you to know, that I'm not the mole. And that everyday, I have to look at the girl I _love_, and tell myself it's time to walk away…" he stated, having loads of pressure lifted off his shoulders.

He stared at her one last time, before descending to the command center. To be yelled and judged at,_ again_. Amy was speechless, she felt like collapsing right at her feet. Maybe she could trust him…because she knew one thing for sure. Her heart had always, and will always belong to Ian Kabra.


End file.
